Wednesday, October 24, 2007
Life as work, but I hope not work as life
Sometimes, I wonder if for the sake of my family having the little things, I am killing us as a family.
I know, what an amazingly guilt-ridden argument. But, I am normally guilt-ridden and I am actually doing much better than I used to about that. Tonight though, I was confronted with a slap of reality.
After dinner tonight, the kids and Tracey wanted to go to the new Super Wal-Mart that has been grown out of the old Wal-Mart in our neighborhood. But I couldn't. I'm facing multiple deadlines and needed to work. So, I told them to go ahead without me, and ended up nixing the plans completely.
Example #2, Tracey is taking Jacob to DisneyWorld as our present to him for his Bar Mitzvah (it was going to be NYC, but staying at a hotel there for 4 days would mean taking another mortgage on the house), and Tracey is bummed that Elliott and I can't also go. The basic reason we cannot go is that I have to work on the last two days of their trip.
There's that word again, work. I don't think of myself as a work-aholic, but I think that evidence would prove otherwise. I work a lot. Usually 14 or so hours a day. More than a few weekends.
I know that this is good for our bank account. My career is flourishing, although I work out of my house and rarely travel. We are going to be able to send Jacob to the Junior National Leadership Conference he's been nominated to. Jacob and Elliott are going to get to go to Jewish sleep-away camp in the summer (something they've been begging to do for years).
But am I missing out on my boys lives while I work and work and work?
The balancing act I am going to have to learn is not being so ruled by work that I am an impediment to family time with my boys and wife. I'm sure there's a way, I just haven't really figured it out yet.
Something else for the to-do list.
I know, what an amazingly guilt-ridden argument. But, I am normally guilt-ridden and I am actually doing much better than I used to about that. Tonight though, I was confronted with a slap of reality.
After dinner tonight, the kids and Tracey wanted to go to the new Super Wal-Mart that has been grown out of the old Wal-Mart in our neighborhood. But I couldn't. I'm facing multiple deadlines and needed to work. So, I told them to go ahead without me, and ended up nixing the plans completely.
Example #2, Tracey is taking Jacob to DisneyWorld as our present to him for his Bar Mitzvah (it was going to be NYC, but staying at a hotel there for 4 days would mean taking another mortgage on the house), and Tracey is bummed that Elliott and I can't also go. The basic reason we cannot go is that I have to work on the last two days of their trip.
There's that word again, work. I don't think of myself as a work-aholic, but I think that evidence would prove otherwise. I work a lot. Usually 14 or so hours a day. More than a few weekends.
I know that this is good for our bank account. My career is flourishing, although I work out of my house and rarely travel. We are going to be able to send Jacob to the Junior National Leadership Conference he's been nominated to. Jacob and Elliott are going to get to go to Jewish sleep-away camp in the summer (something they've been begging to do for years).
But am I missing out on my boys lives while I work and work and work?
The balancing act I am going to have to learn is not being so ruled by work that I am an impediment to family time with my boys and wife. I'm sure there's a way, I just haven't really figured it out yet.
Something else for the to-do list.
Tuesday, October 09, 2007
Life Cycle Events - For Better and For Worst
I know that myself and maybe 5 other people read these posts, so my long sabbatical from writing is missed by next to no one.
Now, the last time I wrote I was 5 days out from my son's bar mitzvah. So I shall write a quick synopsis.
Friday - Dinner was good, and not as expensive as I was afraid. My uncle got into town on Thursday and immediately fell and hurt his ankle. OK, it was funny after the fact. Jacob did his prayers during the evening service well, like that's a huge surprise. Oneg was delish, at least I heard because I was so busy talking to people I didn't get anything to eat.
Saturday - Simply put, it was the perfect day. Jacob was perfect (well, except for the Evelyn Woods speed speaking D'var Torah). Tracey didn't cry during her speech, and I didn't mumble during my speech. Lunch was great. The party was perfect. And then there was sleep.
Sunday - Brunch was good, food delish. Family was great. And then there was rest.
All in all, the greatest BM in the history of the Jewish faith.
But, there's always a but. Life has this very strange way of throwing curve balls. Big ass nasty curve balls. Yesterday, Bert Blyleven showed up in our lives. The only good news was another family was up to bat, though they are still on our team.
A young man who babysat our boys, who was a good young man, who was on his way to an amazingly bright future was killed while driving from his intern gig to his high school. His car either drifted, swerved, or otherwise ventured into the opposite lane that he was traveling in and went head-to-head with a pick-up truck.
When we were called with the news, the shock to our system was indescribable. He was not our child, but he was a part of our community. His family is made up of wonderful people.
We can not do anything to bring Sam Eisen back, it is just not possible. But we can work to keep his memory alive and meaningful. That I can and will do. And we can give our love and support to his family. That we will do too.
Birth, growing, milestones, death. They are the life cycle. In 10 days, we experience the best and the worst of these.
Now, the last time I wrote I was 5 days out from my son's bar mitzvah. So I shall write a quick synopsis.
Friday - Dinner was good, and not as expensive as I was afraid. My uncle got into town on Thursday and immediately fell and hurt his ankle. OK, it was funny after the fact. Jacob did his prayers during the evening service well, like that's a huge surprise. Oneg was delish, at least I heard because I was so busy talking to people I didn't get anything to eat.
Saturday - Simply put, it was the perfect day. Jacob was perfect (well, except for the Evelyn Woods speed speaking D'var Torah). Tracey didn't cry during her speech, and I didn't mumble during my speech. Lunch was great. The party was perfect. And then there was sleep.
Sunday - Brunch was good, food delish. Family was great. And then there was rest.
All in all, the greatest BM in the history of the Jewish faith.
But, there's always a but. Life has this very strange way of throwing curve balls. Big ass nasty curve balls. Yesterday, Bert Blyleven showed up in our lives. The only good news was another family was up to bat, though they are still on our team.
A young man who babysat our boys, who was a good young man, who was on his way to an amazingly bright future was killed while driving from his intern gig to his high school. His car either drifted, swerved, or otherwise ventured into the opposite lane that he was traveling in and went head-to-head with a pick-up truck.
When we were called with the news, the shock to our system was indescribable. He was not our child, but he was a part of our community. His family is made up of wonderful people.
We can not do anything to bring Sam Eisen back, it is just not possible. But we can work to keep his memory alive and meaningful. That I can and will do. And we can give our love and support to his family. That we will do too.
Birth, growing, milestones, death. They are the life cycle. In 10 days, we experience the best and the worst of these.
