Political Venting - Before I Go Crazy

As I wrote a couple of days ago, my father-in-law passed this week. In Jewish tradition, this meant it was time to sit shiva. For those of you who are not Jewish, think of it as a wake after the burial instead of before. Also consider that instead of large amounts of alcohol, we jews have large sums of sweet baked goods.

So we sat shiva for two nights this week. It was both beautiful and worrisome.

The first night was amazing. About 100 people from our synagogue and elemetary school showed up to support us (in one case, came before shiva and ate with us...way uncomfortable). Unluckily, the person leading the service made a point of saying that this show of support was due to how involved my wife and I are in these communities. He didn't mention the widow, ex-widow or Tracey's siblings who were there. It was, I am sure, purely an oversight as he does not know these people. But as I heard it, I made a small bet to myself that her siblings would be offended.

There is only one problem with betting yourself. When you win, you get NOTHING.

I was right. Her sister in particular seemed to be offended. Not a shock, but a little understandable.

Of course, there are two questions that come to mind when this occurred. She belongs to a synagogue, but from what I can tell, not one bit of assistance or support was made from that community. Why the lack of support of the community she belongs to? Did she not make them aware? What's the deal with that?

Secondly, while here, she does her best to completely seperate herself from everyone. Sitting in a corner either feeling sorry for herself or anger at us...I'm not sure which. I could see this, I asked her if everything was OK. She said yes and turned away. At this point, I knew what was going on and I knew what would be the result. She would escape and not return until she felt either comfortable or back in control. But is that not an opportunity to show others that you are in need of support. I know this group well enough that they would be there for her in the same manner as they are there for us. Why not take advantage of all the love which was available?

This week does prove one thing to me (not that I needed more evidence). Being there for others always results in good things. It's not that Tracey and I give to our community and friends so that we can get something in return. If we were, I'm sure the world would see the dirtiness of our giving and assess us as hypocrites. But we do believe in being there for others...and this week those who we have touched came to give back to us. There were people here who I had no idea that we had made a difference to, but there they were.

All in all, shiva is supposed to be a show of support to those who need support. Now, whether one wishes to accept that support is a personal decision. Tracey, who generally doesn't do the accepting of support thing, gratefully accepted it this week. As tough as this has been on her, it is the support and love she has received from our friends which has made it easier on her. Whether that can be true for others, I don't know.

BTW, here's my list of favorite desserts which have been given to us this week, not in order of preference:

Cinnamon Rolls - Lord, I do love these.
A wonderful Chocolate-Almond Mousse Pie - Beyond good.
Norma's Outmeal Raisin cookies - just sooo delish.
Strudel - real, no kidding, fresh strudel.
Ruglah - this was special because it was amazingly good, and handmade by our neice.